Dear Dawn, my flovver. This is for you.

I haven’t started POCO yet. In fact, I don’t feel like doing anything ’cause I feel kinda blue. Why? I don’t know. but every book and every TV show I get into these days makes me want to go away and live in those places and become someone else. Ah, fiction.

Whenever Eden comes home, she argues with Dad. It is so irritating. She doesn’t get anything. That girl… everything flies over her head and she pretends to know stuff. Dad is easily annoyed. He tells her she’s dumb (which isn’t nice at all). She wants to borrow even more money (she owes him over 500$) for something Dad insists she doesn’t need. Oh, my gosh. Nothing is ever Eden OR Dad’s fault.

In other words… I drank a lot of coffee today with Caitlin.

As well, arguing about religion is next to pointless. No one ever wins. Especially when you argue with so cynical a person. It ticks me off.

My mother’s made a delicious-smelling supper.

I want to start a new site, but I want to know for certain if it will be popular. I want to pay for hosting and see if I can earn something back from maintaining a site. It’ll be an interesting project.

My mom ruined my mood as soon as I walked in the door. She asked me where I was (Eden was supposed to tell her). I said I was at Dawn’s. She said I was just there yesterday and got mad and said that I needed to stay home every once in a while to clean. Well, I apologize for being busy this past week. It’s not like I enjoy slaving over schoolwork. She is clueless about what I do, anyway. The first free day I get I’m suddenly supposed to stay home.  And I was actually excited to have tonight to organize stuff. Now I’m not.

Anyways, Brick Lane was sad and good… They cut out a lot of symbolism. The mall with Dawn was also good. I bought me more books :]

No, I’m still mad.

I swear, my next blog was going to be how happy I was about feeling like I’ve done a lot- working and schoolwork and whatnot. Now we’re back to me being lazy. I HARDLY ever go out (Eden was leaving when I got home). So, go away.

Now to clean… bitterly.

[9:06 pm]

Getting rid of a few books. Gotta clean these bookshelves!

LOL… I’m listening to a certain someone’s favorite singer… USHER. Yeah. I mean, Yeah!

I was really going to go to school for the last day, but at 4 this morning I decided I can’t. I only have two hour-long classes, anyway. I didn’t think it would take so long to work on this thing. I’m not even at 2000 words right now! So, I thought it would be best to sleep in and get my alertness and energy back, finish this wretched thing and submit it at a reasonable time still considered “a day late,” which I am allowed, and look at my music for choir finally.

My mom came downstairs and asked me to her with something. When I said I had no time, she said she was busy too. NO YOU AREN’T. YOU DON’T HAVE A DEADLINE!!

[5:27 pm]

AHA! Done! However, I gave up at the end. I don’t know how to write a conclusion for it. It was pretty crappy. Like really, really, really, extremely bad. Worse than POCO, Shakespeare, and everything else I said was bad. I’ve worked on it so long I need to move on. It’s submitted… DONE. Yaaah!

[5:32 pm]

Ahhhhh!!! I checked to see if I sent the stupid e-mail and it says I submitted it at 1:30 AM on the 29th! Grr. I hope he gets it before then… and sees that it wasn’t submitted tomorrow.

, the fourth book in the Twilight series, looks utterly… bad. I read the summary. I mean, whaaat? But I want to read it anyway.

[2:54 pm]

Sooo… I went to Mosaic Books today and looked at the history books like I always do. I saw a book I was interested in before, Four Queens. I read the cover and realized it was about four queens from Southern France, where the troubadours were from, and checked the index and there was quite a bit on them. It starts off explaining that these queens were brought up influenced by the troubadours. So I bought it… and I have one more book! I missed Stephanie, though.

Back to work on it!

And I distract myself again to write here. And, ohmygoodness, it is past midnight already.

As for my wretched summa. I managed to type notes up from one book and one article. I like the research part. I enjoy researching historical things and I remembered this fact tonight. I also always revert back to doing my assignment on women. I picked troubadours on a whim as something new (I thought about it for two seconds and told Nilson that was what I wanted to do), but suddenly I am researching female troubadours (I had no idea they were… important at all) and talking about courtly love. Every time I do research, I latch onto a group of people or historical person and want to write a story about them. In first year, I wanted to write about Aspasia, a Greek courtesan. Now I want to write something about a female troubadour. Anyway, speaking of history loves of the moment, I am waiting to download the second episode of The Devil’s Whore and it’s making me all obsessed with Baroque-era things. All this is making me want to switch my major to history. Even if history assignments are scary at times, once I understand what it is I’m looking for and get into the research, I enjoy it more that trying to figure out literature I don’t care about. As well, it’s something I can do without worrying about comparing myself to my friends or people near me (in that I feel useless and stupid, which I feel all the time regardless of what grades I’m getting). If I got it right, I have EXACTLY enough spots next year to fulfill the History major (I need to learn about areas I don’t really like, but whatever) and minor in English. I just need to take my last science! If I can get my Tudors course (fulfill upper-level credits), that course about the Holocaust (if it comes back, I need a 20th C. course), any level Canadian history… /sigh… I can’t worry about that right now.

My eyes feel really tired. I should finish my second book…

Another thing. I love hardcover books. I like getting rid of the book jacket so that the inside is showing. It looks older. No bright colours. It makes me look pretentious :] I just need to watch out I don’t return my own books back to the library.

My stomach hurts. But, mm, I like my coffee.

[3:37 pm]

I gotta start my summa tonight, but I am oh-so-sleepy again! Nuuuuu.

Hopefully someone washed the trays tonight. I don’t want to wash trays again. Oh, those wretched, wretched cheese-encrusted trays.

[3:42 pm / not much later]

This is going to sound sad. I opened New Moon, the sequel to Twilight, and those tattoos fell out. I have an Edward tattoo… HAHAHAHAHA.

I don’t know if I can read the next book. The writing irritates me but I wanna know what happens next.

I am tired of school. Literally tired, too.

Finished my Word Study. It’s kinda short, I think, but I’m sleepy! I also butchered the bibliography.

I can’t wait until Friday. Shopping with myself… and then choir… and then Saturday. Church… Brick Lane… shopping avec Dawn.

Summa and POCO summary to go!

Dad got the hot water in our house fixed. I am glad.

Night!

I am sitting at a table in the library and, in the silence, I hear the faint sound of a child screaming.

“Ow, Chah-lie! OWWWWWWWWW!”

And I giggled.

Anyways, some girls kicked me out of my library room at 9:38. Oh, wells. First I tried to clean up my muffin crumbs. Then I got coffee all over my hand. And then my computer cord got stuck around a chair while I was trying to leave. They laughed at me.

I am trying to work on my word study… I managed to get Canterbury Tales and some other collection of old-sounding English. I had to look through them first. I kid you not, the first book on Chaucer I looked through didn’t have the Parson’s Tale because “it is dull prose”. I needed that one! And then the book I needed with works by Gower in it skipped the whole section on “Murmur and Complaint”. But I found them! I need one more, but I have Pride & Prejudice at home… I’ll try and find more just in case.

[11:20 pm]

I haven’t had to reboot my computer in a while.

Nilson says he’s teaching Tudor history next year. He also forgot to bring this class’ outlines, so he said, “Time me!” and ran out the door. For some reason it looked hilarious.

I’m going to ask him if I can get an extra day for the summa… I can if someone hands their assignment in early… so if I get that extra day, I’ll be obligated to vote for this person as Pope. Sorry Rammy! *crosses fingers* Or else I’ll have to beg June to not work tomorrow. My last option is to just do really poorly.

Ummm… Troubadours… I wonder if I can launch into an argument around troubadours and Christianity. Or I can be really easy and do something about Eleanor of Aquitaine because I have a book on her at home… I DON’T KNOW.

I like this note:

Cistercians, “hardcore”

Apparently I might’ve found myself in a leper colony in 1215… ’cause I have a skin ailment and people were apparently scared of stuff like that- even really bad acne.

[2:24 pm]

Hi again! I got lucky today.

Me: Is there an extra day available to hand in my summa?
What’s-his-face: *slaps summa on table* (it’s due next class)
Nilson: Now there is.
Me: Can I have it?!

YAY!!

But the bus left five minutes early and I stayed to ask a question… so I missed Stephanie… and I really needed to pester her with History of English assignment questions… BUT the number 10 driver was driving really fast and I got to Queensway just as the 21 was about to leave, so I saw her there. Yay to that!

I finally figured out how the word ‘murmur’ changed… I need a copy of Frankenstein… but I have the full text online, so I hope that will do.

Sick-tired has returned! It is 11:09 and I just submitted my essay. I don’t think it was too bad… maybe not very scholarly or anything, but not as bad as I thought it would be. Mind you, I’ll say that and get a bad mark back. We’ll see. I’ve been working on it with little to no distraction other than supper since I got home.

Speaking of supper, I fail at boiling eggs.

I got a B on that scary POCO essay. I was really surprised. I got her lost, though.

I don’t have time to start my other assignments. I’ve been working on stuff since Friday… and I want to go to my room at a reasonable hour, clean up, watch TV, and sleep well tonight.

My history summa is worrying me.